If I had a name for the stone in my heart, I might call it Shame, or Gone-wrong, or My-Parents-Would-Be-Disappointed or even, Not-now.
Mostly I don’t name it at all because a stone has form and weight and what is in my heart is the heaviest of nothings. My Nothing is so heavy, it makes everything absent. It turns away the wind and every place I go is empty before I get there.
I know that nothing can separate me from the love of God, but what I didn’t know was some things can separate me from myself. Like my empty, nothing, StoneHeart, because that’s what happened when my heart-door closed and locked it in.
— Amen
